ND Kids and Emotional Overload

Let’s talk about something that looks like “big behavior”… but is actually emotional overload.

Because for neurodivergent kids, overwhelm doesn’t always look like tears.

Sometimes it looks like:

Anger, shutting down, sarcasm, pacing, or even total refusal to do anything you just asked them to do.

And a lot of us were raised to see that and think:

“They’re being dramatic.”

“They’re being difficult.”

“They need consequences.”

But overwhelm isn’t misbehavior.

It’s a nervous system saying, “I have hit my limit.”

For neurodivergent kids, that limit can come faster and louder, ESPECIALLY in a world that’s already noisy, fast, and demanding.

And here’s the thing adults often miss:

When a kid is overloaded, they are not ignoring you. 

They are surviving the moment.

So correction in these scenarios won’t land.

Logic won’t land.

And lectures definitely will not land.

(Ask me how I know.)

What helps instead is regulation before resolution.

Slowing things down.

Reducing input.

Meeting the moment with calm instead of control. 

And yes, sometimes that even means doing something that looks… unconventional.

Sometimes it means fewer words.

Sometimes it means a break.

Sometimes it means quiet connection instead of conversation.

Sometimes it means running a warm bath and putting out their favorite snacks (If you want more on that, please go back to my January 6 video about ND Inclusion.)

Because kids can’t access skills they don’t have yet.

All of this matters not only for neurodivergent kids, but especially for ND kids who are also LGBTQ.

Because queer kids are often already managing:

social scanning

masking

safety calculations

and the pressure to “hold it together”

That’s a lot for any nervous system.

In this space, we’re actively learning to recognize overload early before it explodes.

We learn to ask:

“What does their nervous system need right now?”

Not: “How do I make this stop?”

Because when kids feel understood, their bodies soften.

And when their bodies soften, communication follows.

So if your child’s emotions feel “too big” some days …

They’re not failing, and you’re not failing.

Their nervous system is just asking for support, not punishment.

That’s all for now.

And don’t forget to take good care of yourself today.