Learning Out Loud

Hello! Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough grace in parenting queer kids:

Learning out loud.

Because if you grew up Gen-X like I did, you were taught a very specific set of rules:

Don’t ask questions in public.

Definitely don’t get it wrong.

And for the love of God, don’t let anyone see you learning in real time.

So when our kids come to us with new language, new identities, or new ways of understanding themselves?

A lot of us freeze.

Not because we don’t love our kids, but because we’re terrified of saying the wrong thing. 

And here’s the truth: While silence may feel safer to an adult, curiosity feels safer for kids. 

Even if it means not knowing some of their emerging slang or who their top artist is on Spotify wrapped.

Learning out loud doesn’t mean processing everything AT your child.

It means letting them see that growth is allowed.

It sounds like:

“I don’t know yet, but I’m willing to learn.”

“Don’t laugh if I mess up.” (And then letting them laugh at you for messing up), or 

“Thank you for trusting me with this.”

Because again, and I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face: Most queer kids aren’t asking for perfect language.

They’re asking for effort. 

They want to know: If I bring this to you, will you lean in… or shut down?

And yes, you’re going to be awkward sometimes.

But that doesn’t make you unsafe. It just makes you human.

What makes kids unsafe is when adults refuse to grow, or expect children to do all the emotional labor.

Here at Rainbow Roots, we’re normalizing learning as a process, not a performance.

We practice curiosity without interrogation.

Correction without defensiveness.

(Humility without shame spirals, if you will.)

Because when parents model learning out loud, kids learn something powerful:

Growth doesn’t threaten love.

Questions don’t end relationships.

And mistakes aren’t the end; they’re the beginning.

So if you’ve ever thought, “I should already know this…”

Take a breath.

You’re absolutely allowed to learn as you go.

That’s all for now. And don’t forget to take good care of yourself today.